Monday, August 31, 2009

Trip to the ER and Curious Jo

Saturday night Josiah had his first Emergency Room visit. After crying for over 3 hrs (from about 12am to 3:30am)and being completely inconsolable we called our pediatrician and the on-call doctor recommended the ER. So we loaded up and drove to the hospital, on the way he fell asleep and once we got there he of course started acting like he was feeling a lot better (according to the ER nurses/dr. this is a normal phenomenon with kids). Nonetheless, just as we suspected, he had his first ear infection. They gave him some numbing ear drops, antibiotics, and motrin and we were discharged and home by a mere 7am!

Of course...we had to document his trip to the Er...
Digging through the diaper bag kept him briefly entertained...
or maybe he was just trying to get at that formula?!
This was after the numbing drops...but still...a charmer even at the ER! By the time we left all the nurses were making sure to get their goodbyes in.
Yesterday was rough but he slept like a champ last night...about 13.5 hrs and mommy and daddy were so grateful!

I've mentioned before how busy are boy is...did I mention curious too?! He is into everything these days and he is quick...I am talking it takes him .2 seconds to open the dishwasher (if it's unlatched) and crawl in! We have to watch him like a hawk and safety proof like maniacs...cause he finds anything we miss.

Can't leave the fridge open for a split second either...

This is in our bathroom, he has my necklace in his hand that he grabbed out of my jewelry drawer...he likes to drop my necklaces down into the tub.
I was trying to get a pic of him in his new convertible car seat but getting a pic of him when he is in arm's reach of the camera is almost impossible! So is trying to video him at all...he will stop what he is doing and attack the camera so that all that I end up getting on video is his mouth and grabbing hands!
At bathtime he is so ready to get in that he starts climbing up the step stool and side of tub...he'd dive in head first if we didn't stop him!
This is the bottom part of our ottoman...aka...Josiah's new hideout!
He keeps us on our toes! We love his zeal for life!
I almost forgot....he is pretty much walking now! He takes up to 8 steps at a time on his own without coaxing just playing by himself. It's going to be any day now that he is walking all over the place!

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Take Me Out to the Ball Game!

Last night we took Josiah to his first Astros game! Jay's brother Brandon got tickets from work and so he took the whole Blackburn clan...thanks Brandon! Josiah had a blast taking it all in. Here are just a "few" pics of our fun night out!
Oops...he blinked! Would have been such a precious pic.
I think we watched Josiah more than we watched the game!
Grandpa Jack
Taking it all in!
with his Uncle B and Aunt Britt
He learned to clap this week and had a blast showing off his new skill all throughout the game!
Lovin' on Grandma Freckles
Such fun!
Trying his first pickle and loving it!
Thanks Uncle B for the tickets!

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Healing Rain

I named this post "Healing Rain" because ever since I woke up this morning that song has been playing in my head, I don't remember the last time I actually heard it so I feel like it is kind of one of those cool Spirit things.

Jay and I are still grieving a lot, we have good and bad days, and moments that are easier and those that are still very tough. We've been fairly busy since we lost the baby which makes for a helpful distraction, the only downside is that when things slow down a little it can hit like a ton of bricks. I guess I shouldn't say that it is a downside to slow down though; that time is hard but it is what draws us to our knees in the presence of the Lord and those tender moments with Him are so incredibly healing for us.

I mentioned before how I felt the Lord embracing me during prayer time before our appt the morning we learned that we lost the baby. After the initial shock of everything had calmed down I remembered that the Sunday before that appt I received a letter from my secret sister at church. It was the first time she had written to me and she noted in the letter that she had spent a lot of time in prayer over how to write to me and what I needed to hear from her. Here are some of her words,


"...you need to know that more people than you may realize are praying for you, hoping the best for you, knowing God has a plan for you, for your husband, and for your children...I think you may need to be reminded that God will never place a burden on you greater than you can handle, he knows your limits, and may test you, but he will never break you if you just trust in him. He also reminds us many times, no, he commands us repeatedly not to worry, do not be concerned, do not fear. God has a plan, and he is in control, and though you do need to act and not sit idly by watching life pass, God is in control and will guide you, sometimes even carry you the way you should go. And then when life seems darkest, when the situation seems hopless, that is when God is able to work his greatest miracles. Because without hardship, we would not recognize the blessings we have, so very abundantly."

This letter was just another way that God proved His faithfulness to us in this trial. I got this before we knew anything and remember thinking..."what hardship I am about to face?" It is funny how before our loss I read this with a little trepidation and afterwards I am able to read it and take comfort knowing that God knew what was happening and cared enough about us to speak through another believer to give us encouragement before we even knew about our loss.

Thank you so much to everyone who has posted comments, sent cards, emails, and called us. It really helps when people acknowledge our pain...we need to talk about it...it's part of our healing process. So many people have shared their stories of losing a baby with us and talking with people who have gone through this really helps because they understand the gravity of the loss and can really validate what we are going through. We have a few friends who have been so faithful to continue following up with us and let us know that they haven't forgotten...that means the world to us. So thank you.

Last but certainly not least....Josiah has been a huge help in our healing...he keeps us busy and laughing constantly. He is such a source of joy to us...he is getting more and more fun with each new stage! He turned 10 months on Sunday and is busier than ever! He literally NEVER stops moving unless he is asleep...other moms watch him in amazement at how busy he is...he is definitely going to keep us on our toes! We love it though, he has so much personality, everyone who sees him or knows him comments on how happy and personable he is all the time. And it's true...he is such a happy baby and LOVES people! He also loves to laugh, if someone will laugh with him he will carry it on for five minutes at a time...just cackling as hard as he can. He has started taking 2 or 3 steps at a time on his own but so far doesn't seem interested in doing much more than that. He plays catch with us now and still is an outdoor maniac. One way to elicit a meltdown from this happy boy is to walk up to a door and then walk away without taking him outside. He pays no mind to the outrageous Houston summer heat!
Here are a few recent pics of the handsome boy! All out of order b/c Blogger won't cooperate!

Pulling his Grandpa Jack's hair and thinking it's so funny! (a couple wks ago)This morning in his big boy PJ's...he loves to pose for pictures! Check out all his teeth! Playing in YaYa and Papa's flower beds...so much to explore! (couple wks ago)
Papa put him in the tree and now he wants to climb trees all the time!
(couple wks ago) One of the youth kids put him in this box at church last week...he got the biggest kick out of playing peek-a-boo in it.

After writing this post, I think the title "Healing Rain" is even more fitting...God is truly pouring out His healing blessings on us through intimate moments with Him, conversations with those who have been through this, love and support shown to us from other people, and our sweet Josiah. Glory to His Name!

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Heartbroken

It has been a deeply sad and diffifcult week for us. Tuesday morning at my OB appt Jay and I were faced with the heartbreaking news that our baby did not have a heart beat and that I would have to have a D and C (which I had yesterday). I was supposed to be 10 wks 3 days and the baby had stopped growing at 7 wks 4days, just one week after my last OB appt when everything seemed to be perfect. I had not had any signs of miscarriage other than a nagging unexplained feeling from the very beginning of the pregnancy that something wasn't right. We are heartbroken and filled with so much sadness over the loss of our precious baby. Jay and I talked after coming home from the hospital about how both of our hearts literally felt like they weighed a thousand pounds.

Yet in the midst of our grief we have been so blanketed in God's peace and comfort. We know God is good and faithful and though we don't understand His plan in this we are trusting and resting in Him.

God is so sweet to us. Tuesday morning before my appt I was having quiet time. Jay came in and asked if we could pray together. As we were praying about all kinds of things in our life including the baby in my womb I had this overwhelming sense of God's enormous presence around us. It is hard to describe but after we finished praying I told Jay that I literally felt like God's huge and mighty arms were wrapped around me embracing me. I had actually been holding Jay's arm with one hand and mine with the other but it felt like I was touching these giant arms that my hands couldn't even begin to curl around. I felt so small in the presence of His mighty presence but so comforted. It was awesome! As I was showering getting ready for my appt I was pondering what had just happened and the thought crossed my mind that maybe God allowed me that experience because He was preparing me for bad news at my appt. It was just a passing thought though. But looking back we know God was preparing me for what was ahead and we are very comforted knowing that He was there embracing us wanting to comfort us in our grief. We know our sweet baby is with the Lord and believe whole heartedly that he or she is enjoying the company of our grandparents and getting to know the babies of other friends and family members who went home before they were born. We are comforted by this as well.

I know it will take time for our hearts to heal. But we are confident that they will because our Lord is a Healer. We are at peace but still facing deep waves of sadness as we grieve the loss of our child, and have to let go of the hopes and dreams we had for this baby as an individual and as a sibling so close in age to Josiah. We covet your prayers for us during this time.

The LORD gives and takes away, but our hearts will choose to say
BLESSED BE THE NAME OF THE LORD.