Healing Rain

I named this post "Healing Rain" because ever since I woke up this morning that song has been playing in my head, I don't remember the last time I actually heard it so I feel like it is kind of one of those cool Spirit things.

Jay and I are still grieving a lot, we have good and bad days, and moments that are easier and those that are still very tough. We've been fairly busy since we lost the baby which makes for a helpful distraction, the only downside is that when things slow down a little it can hit like a ton of bricks. I guess I shouldn't say that it is a downside to slow down though; that time is hard but it is what draws us to our knees in the presence of the Lord and those tender moments with Him are so incredibly healing for us.

I mentioned before how I felt the Lord embracing me during prayer time before our appt the morning we learned that we lost the baby. After the initial shock of everything had calmed down I remembered that the Sunday before that appt I received a letter from my secret sister at church. It was the first time she had written to me and she noted in the letter that she had spent a lot of time in prayer over how to write to me and what I needed to hear from her. Here are some of her words,

"...you need to know that more people than you may realize are praying for you, hoping the best for you, knowing God has a plan for you, for your husband, and for your children...I think you may need to be reminded that God will never place a burden on you greater than you can handle, he knows your limits, and may test you, but he will never break you if you just trust in him. He also reminds us many times, no, he commands us repeatedly not to worry, do not be concerned, do not fear. God has a plan, and he is in control, and though you do need to act and not sit idly by watching life pass, God is in control and will guide you, sometimes even carry you the way you should go. And then when life seems darkest, when the situation seems hopless, that is when God is able to work his greatest miracles. Because without hardship, we would not recognize the blessings we have, so very abundantly."

This letter was just another way that God proved His faithfulness to us in this trial. I got this before we knew anything and remember thinking..."what hardship I am about to face?" It is funny how before our loss I read this with a little trepidation and afterwards I am able to read it and take comfort knowing that God knew what was happening and cared enough about us to speak through another believer to give us encouragement before we even knew about our loss.

Thank you so much to everyone who has posted comments, sent cards, emails, and called us. It really helps when people acknowledge our pain...we need to talk about it...it's part of our healing process. So many people have shared their stories of losing a baby with us and talking with people who have gone through this really helps because they understand the gravity of the loss and can really validate what we are going through. We have a few friends who have been so faithful to continue following up with us and let us know that they haven't forgotten...that means the world to us. So thank you.

Last but certainly not least....Josiah has been a huge help in our healing...he keeps us busy and laughing constantly. He is such a source of joy to us...he is getting more and more fun with each new stage! He turned 10 months on Sunday and is busier than ever! He literally NEVER stops moving unless he is asleep...other moms watch him in amazement at how busy he is...he is definitely going to keep us on our toes! We love it though, he has so much personality, everyone who sees him or knows him comments on how happy and personable he is all the time. And it's true...he is such a happy baby and LOVES people! He also loves to laugh, if someone will laugh with him he will carry it on for five minutes at a time...just cackling as hard as he can. He has started taking 2 or 3 steps at a time on his own but so far doesn't seem interested in doing much more than that. He plays catch with us now and still is an outdoor maniac. One way to elicit a meltdown from this happy boy is to walk up to a door and then walk away without taking him outside. He pays no mind to the outrageous Houston summer heat!

Here are a few recent pics of the handsome boy! All out of order b/c Blogger won't cooperate!

Pulling his Grandpa Jack's hair and thinking it's so funny! (a couple wks ago)This morning in his big boy PJ's...he loves to pose for pictures! Check out all his teeth! Playing in YaYa and Papa's flower beds...so much to explore! (couple wks ago)
Papa put him in the tree and now he wants to climb trees all the time!
(couple wks ago) One of the youth kids put him in this box at church last week...he got the biggest kick out of playing peek-a-boo in it.

After writing this post, I think the title "Healing Rain" is even more fitting...God is truly pouring out His healing blessings on us through intimate moments with Him, conversations with those who have been through this, love and support shown to us from other people, and our sweet Josiah. Glory to His Name!