It has been a deeply sad and diffifcult week for us. Tuesday morning at my OB appt Jay and I were faced with the heartbreaking news that our baby did not have a heart beat and that I would have to have a D and C (which I had yesterday). I was supposed to be 10 wks 3 days and the baby had stopped growing at 7 wks 4days, just one week after my last OB appt when everything seemed to be perfect. I had not had any signs of miscarriage other than a nagging unexplained feeling from the very beginning of the pregnancy that something wasn't right. We are heartbroken and filled with so much sadness over the loss of our precious baby. Jay and I talked after coming home from the hospital about how both of our hearts literally felt like they weighed a thousand pounds.
Yet in the midst of our grief we have been so blanketed in God's peace and comfort. We know God is good and faithful and though we don't understand His plan in this we are trusting and resting in Him.
God is so sweet to us. Tuesday morning before my appt I was having quiet time. Jay came in and asked if we could pray together. As we were praying about all kinds of things in our life including the baby in my womb I had this overwhelming sense of God's enormous presence around us. It is hard to describe but after we finished praying I told Jay that I literally felt like God's huge and mighty arms were wrapped around me embracing me. I had actually been holding Jay's arm with one hand and mine with the other but it felt like I was touching these giant arms that my hands couldn't even begin to curl around. I felt so small in the presence of His mighty presence but so comforted. It was awesome! As I was showering getting ready for my appt I was pondering what had just happened and the thought crossed my mind that maybe God allowed me that experience because He was preparing me for bad news at my appt. It was just a passing thought though. But looking back we know God was preparing me for what was ahead and we are very comforted knowing that He was there embracing us wanting to comfort us in our grief. We know our sweet baby is with the Lord and believe whole heartedly that he or she is enjoying the company of our grandparents and getting to know the babies of other friends and family members who went home before they were born. We are comforted by this as well.
I know it will take time for our hearts to heal. But we are confident that they will because our Lord is a Healer. We are at peace but still facing deep waves of sadness as we grieve the loss of our child, and have to let go of the hopes and dreams we had for this baby as an individual and as a sibling so close in age to Josiah. We covet your prayers for us during this time.
The LORD gives and takes away, but our hearts will choose to say
BLESSED BE THE NAME OF THE LORD.
12 comments:
Jamie, I am so sorry about your loss. I know this must be a hard time and want you to know you guys are in our prayers.
Aw guys, I am so sorry to hear that. You are in our prayers.
Jamie, I am so sorry. I will be praying for y'all.
I read what you wrote and just got chills about how God prepared you for what happened. He is awesome. And I know he's just as heartbroken with you. I know he or she is being loved on in heaven. Praying that you both continue to feel God's loving arms around you...we love you too.
I love you guys and am praying for you.
Love all three of you. my heart is overwhelmed for you guys. we are praying for you both...for healing and for comfort and for peace. For His big arms to engulf you when the tears flow...and for JOY amidst the sadness.
God is so good and you are so blessed and His plan/timing (although difficult to understand at times) is PERFECT!!
jamie..my heart feels so much right now...i am incredily sorry for your loss but am so sure God is taking care of each one of you! what an amazing God we have to show HIS love for you two and to prepare you and continue to still speak to your hearts! i am in awe..i love you james...i would love nothing more than to be a listening ear if ever you want or need to! we miss you guys so much! mandy
Love you guys. You know we're praying.
I am so sorry to hear of your loss. You will be in our prayers!! It is amazing how God is able to prepare us for things without our knowledge. Some may call it intuition, but I call it God's Love. We were able to find some great websites that offered us amazing ideas to remember our sweet Alexander in special ways. If you would like me to send those to you please let me know. God Bless and know my heart goes out to you and that we are praying for you.
Jamie "Crumbaugh" Trotter
Oh, guys, I just found this post. I'm sorry for your loss.
Jamie - I grieve with you all in your loss. As I was reading this I am reminded of the peace that passes all understanding that God gives so that in these times of turmoil and grief and suffering we still have that peace that we can't explain other than as you did as God's mighty arm wrapped around us protecting us. You all are in my prayers.
We are so sorry, we will keep you in our prayers.
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